I love the sincerity of the expression of: "There was also a considerable measure of self preservation involved."

This was brilliant. It was so well written. It has been a long time since I read a story that was this entertaining, this deep and this intense. There was so much detail and finesse to the story. I would have liked to have known if he was able to track down that poor kid from the airport. I cried at that point and at the parts involving Eric. What a cruel world. Also it would be interesting to know they were able to get Eric's younger sister as well.
I read it for several hours over the course of two days. I find it hard to believe that we could ever go back to something like that, but then the history side of me reminds me that we already have and there are more people in slavery today than ever before.
It is such a beautiful tale of redemption as well. Andrew *could* have sold Davey, but he never would have. (I cried through that scene too). I loved when you explained how everything had evolved. It wasn't one big change overnight, it was baby steps down a long slippery slope. So tragic, and so hopeful. The epilogue was amazing also, though very bitter-sweet.
I can't imagine being that cruel and being able to stand by and do nothing, or thinking that it's normal. Andrew's stepfather and stepbrother put him in an impossible situation, he really did not have any other choice, but I'm not sure I would ever wish that fate on my worst enemy. Oh, the level of humiliation that they all went through. I did like to see Toby get his revenge though, and I thought for certain his "bodyguards" were going to exact there own revenge right there in the living room, but they didn't. They were more concerned for their friend, which was beautiful.
The name of your fake law firm was hilarious... Twilight fan are we???
I loved this story and I will probably read it several more times. I cannot stress how absolutely superb the writing in this is, especially when you look around at all the juvenile silliness that is our there and especially in this dark genre. Great stuff.

I read the entire thing today and it was so incredibly moving. I found it started off slow, and you almost lost me there at the beginning with the whole high-school romance. But I went back and re-read the warning and took it to mean that if I stuck with it I would be rewarded. And boy ever how I was. I fell in love immediately with Davey, I loathed Dan, I sympathized with Geoffrey and admired him for all that he did for Andrew (as well as his other motivations.) I also liked how Geoffrey made a distinction between the underage activities he participated in as opposed to those of the Judge.

In short, your story played on exactly the right harp-strings at the right moment. I could hear the characters, visualize the settings, and feel for their plight. Thank you for the experience.

I don't think I've read a slash story set in a society with institutionalized slavery where one of the characters doesn't end up a slave and has to adapt, etc. I like that type of plot, but it's very refreshing when someone doesn't stick to it. I'm also glad you didn't make slavery sound acceptable in any way, not even for the bad guys Nobody deserves to be "broken in" (I'm also
a fan of an Orange Clockwork, btw, and your story reminded me of some of the morals in it).

I must say that one of my favorite characters was actually Geoffrey Singer. He was a very complex, "grey" character. I couldn't help but feel sympathy towards him.

i really wish i had the perfect words to describe this story. 'dark, very very
dark' hardly seems to cover it. first off, bravo on such an imaginative story.
it was sweet when it needed to be, and bone chilling for the rest. i must say,
some parts were simply hard to swallow, like chapter 13. a month later and
i still get a sick feeling when i remember it. it's the same feeling i got
reading 1984, only x 100.

as long as i'm on about chapter 13, i did have a burning question to ask.
whatever became of dan ridge? his arc was left so open ended i just have to
ask. i guess it has to do with my jane austen-esque need for resolution,
forgive me.

well, i'm off to start just don't mess with us. (it looks suspisiously light
for one of your works...) well, after this one, light is what i need.

ps: don't mind me if i sound like i'm whinging or anything of the sort. i am
actually a fan of your work, i just get easily rattled by the heart wrench you
do so well, which is why i seek you out in the first place. isn't that
paradox.

anyway, in a nutshell, thanks for a great, tought provoking story.

This is one of the best edited, beautifully written, emotionally wrenching stories I've read for a long time. And it is so relevant with all the sex slavery, commercial slavery, child labour, mining slavery on which the present world economic system depends. there are too many good things to say about this tale. I have sat at my lap top, unable to stop reading, tears streaming down my cheeks .
Thanks so much for writing it, It really deserves printing as a book.

So i read this whole story straight through and i have to say it was great. the plot offers both funny and tear jerking moments. I loved the ending

I shall be giving a huge hug to the friend who recommended this story to me! And an even bigger one to you for writing such a wonderful piece of fiction. You brought a whole world to life and did something that few writers are capable of - you made me care--really care!--about the characters. Thank you so much for sharing. Now...I think I noticed links to more of your fiction...

a friend recommended your story on her LJ and I couldn't resist to take a peek. And I'm so glad I did, it's an amazing read. Love how you wrote a coming of age tale and were completely honest about the sexual awakening. Your characters are so full of life and such different shades of gray - many writers could learn from you. I have to admit, I was a bit afraid about Davey's reaction to the enslavement of John and Dan but you did him justice. It's definitely a story I will come back to

I just finished this story today, after having only started it yesterday - I couldn't put it down. I also just rec'd it to a friend of mine, because I think it is amazing.

You create such an interesting and believable universe - it reminds me a bit of Remastering Jerna, although neither fic is anywhere near the same plotwise.

I enjoyed how you drag the reader in at the beginning with the description of the almost ordinary life of a fourteen-year-old school boy. I should have anticipated what was to come, but I just didn’t see it! And the epilogue was such a perfect touch – JK could certainly learn a thing or two from you about writing one properly!

WOW. The voice of the narrator is amazing and the imagery is great. I'm so glad that you put so much thought and effort into this. I really don't know how to convey the differentness of this story and how effective the style is in creating this world. I hope you continue to write and put the necessary effort into all of your tales.

Upon reading your introduction, I was pretty skeptical about your intended effects.

Having just wept for the third time in the past hour, all skepticism is gone.

This should be published. It was beautiful, it was clever, it was terrifying and it was glorious.

Thank you for sharing it.

Wow...
Really well written and well thought out story. Absalutly luved the ending! Amazing, wish more endings where simmliar just because it wraps everything up neatly and ties it with a bow. It makes sence and i can atchually come to terms witht he fact it has ended.
Love the totaly hypacrasy and is it just me but is the things they do with the slaves more than alittle kinky!? xP
love the fact the ending was written by their 'brother' just seems right
Thx for writting it, its brilliant and also just one problem... wheres chapter 9!?!?!?! I mean... WTF!? am i missing somthing? :/
Lol luved it even withought xD
TTW x

That was brilliant! Thoroughly captivated all the way through especially from the rather unusual opening; you certianly lived up to your warning. Plus you're a regular writer and so i LOVE YOU!! We've all read some stories where the writer has just dissapeared of placed it on *horror filled gap* hiatus and you continued at a lovely pace; regular inspiring entertainment indeed ^^. Tschus and i'll certianly read any of your further writings.

Your author notes remind me of Lemony Snicket. Reading the first a/n, I expected the story to be some pompus work of fiction that wasn't worth my time. That's probably the only critisism I have, is for the first note, tone it down. The reader hasn't yet read the story, and the note comes across as pompus and arrogant, to me anyway. let the reader read the story for a while before you start making claims of grandure. They are good claims, but don't start off like that.
Now onto the story. It was deep, captivating, very formal and official in the telling. I like the overarching plot of them being sort of an autobiography. I think you should publish this, with as i said, a toning down of your beginning notes.
I think you have an intelligence in your work that I don't often see on this site (FP). Sure I read a good story, find a gem once in a while, but this was captivating, inspired, well-researched and sweet. I'm glad it ended as it did too. Nothing makes a reader more pleased than a happy ending. It bordered on the cliche' what with Andrew putting John and Dan into slavery, but it was still an amazing read. I think this definately could be published.
'm tired of writing now, so if you want more praise... it'll have to wait!

I devoured your story whole as if I were a dark scary monster and this tale was an itty bitty mouse.
OH, MAN, WAS IT TASTY!
I read a review somewhere on this story where someone said the characters weren't anything special and they didn't like that, but in all honesty, I always feel like that is when the stories feel real.
I also know that making your characters seem like ordinary people is hard to do and I applaud you for that! Andrew's character development is rather subtle, but imperative to the story and the emotions he feels are real. He describes his own shortcomings and insecurities flawlessly and in a very natural way. I especially appreciated the fact that his lament over his mother's death was not that of a devastated two year-old crying over spilled milk. Not many people realize that someone mourns over another's death when they knew it was coming a lot differently than if that person, say, committed suicide. I read too many stories with similar themes to this one where the characters seem to be in constant moodswings and I felt disoriented. To sum it up, please keep doing what you're doing character-wise!
As for the dialogue, I do have to admit I felt some of it did feel pretty "fake?" especially when somebody had a rather long-winded response. Maybe I didn't feel like it was fake, so much... Maybe after a while I felt like I was being reminded that I was reading a story and I'd have to re-read the paragraph because I lost attention. Perhaps break some of the longer dialogue up with something to add to the story every now and then? Please keep in mind that this is me just being nit-picky and trying to search for SOMETHING to be constructive about in this review. It was totally something very minor.

You describe enough to paint a picture, but not so much as to bore me with description. Sometimes, the grammar and spelling wasn't perfect, but you said this was your first story and that you were Van Helsing-ing it up on that front so I'm quite sure that's not a big deal anymore.

Conclusion:
Loved it. Great story. I laughed. I cried. You had me holding my breath and praying for the main character. There was a point where I yelled "Just freaking say I love you already!" at the computer screen. My boyfriend looked at me from across the room and shook his head. I look forward to more of your works."